Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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