Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
