in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He better not be in your backpack
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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