It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
The ass gains better be worth it
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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