I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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