you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i think we sleep fucked last night...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
