I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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