he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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