like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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