I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
