no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
