I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
