she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
