whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
