In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
