It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
