I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
false alarm, still single
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
