i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
