What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
