This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
