watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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