Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
