theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
