It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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