White coat. Heels.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
