Well apparently he's into motor boating.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
