Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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