Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
