the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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