ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
