She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My penis needs a shock collar
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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