i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
