How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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