Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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