weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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