Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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