I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
