Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
