Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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