I feel like abortions should bother me more
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
