you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
my shit smells like andre
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
