Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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