Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Sext me about skeletons
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
