It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
