and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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