On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
