Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
