Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
