One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
