This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
